Friday, September 17, 2010

How to become ASSERTIVE! - 5 WAYS

The role of time in being assertive

There are many things that you can get back after you lose it, time is not one of them. The reason why the issue of time is important is because as you journey through life, people will make many demands on you. While some of these people will be members of your family or close friends, others will be co-workers or your employers.

When you take up your time in order to give in to their demands, you are using up a valuable commodity that you will never be able to get back. There are skills that can allow you to become more assertive, and these skills will help you take control over your time.

You need to keep in mind that only you are responsible for making the choices in your life. No one else has this right or this responsibility. Even if you are surrounded by people who havepersonalities that are strong, this does not mean that you should let them control you and make the choices for your life.

Once you begin to follow this tip and accept it, you will gain more power in your life. Remember, you do what you want when you want to do it.

Draw Clear Boundaries

In order to become assertive you will want to be mindful of is your boundaries. We all have boundaries, but the difference between assertive and passive people is that assertive people make these boundaries clear, and they do not allow others to step over them. In contrast, passive people have boundaries, but they make these boundaries clear or known, and allow others to trespass on them.

Aggressive people make their boundaries clear, but are rude and overbearing when it comes to doing so. Once you set boundaries, you must never allow others to cross them, and make sure they know it.

Offer A Context

Becoming more assertive by always offer a context. This means that people will be much more willing to respect you when they can see that your goal is not to offend them, but to achieve goals which are important to you.

For example, if you have roommates, and you are in college, and you are trying to study for an exam, but your roommates are playing loud noise, you can knock on their door and calmly explain to them that you are trying to concentrate on an exam which can allow you to get a good grade in your class, and you would appreciate it if they could turn the sound down a little.

By behaving in this way, you give people a context, and they tend to respect you more as a person.

Avoid Trying to Control

Avoid trying to control the way people respond to you. You must be able to accept the rights and feelings of others, but you must be able to do it in a way that isn't offensive.

A passive person is typically an individual who worries too much about how others thinks, and will be far too concerned about the responses of others. This is something that you must learn to avoid.

There is a thin line between being assertive and being aggressive, and that line is easy to cross. The best way to avoid aggression is to be calm and in control of your emotions at all times.

When you act aggressively, you will only offend others and make them grow to not like you. This is not something that you want.

You want to get people to see your point of view, but you don't want to offend them in the process. Being assertive requires you to properly balance this.

Always keep your boundaries Up

Once you set your boundaries, it is absolutely critical for you to make sure you maintain them. Passive people will often set boundaries, only to remove them when they are put under pressure.

This is always a bad form of behavior. It is always critical to make sure you're always in control over yourself, and this means once you set boundaries, you do not allow anyone to cross them for any reason.

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